Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Finding Balance in the Front Line of Divorce

So my day job is nothing like my job moonlighting as a pub driver. I work at a law firm. A family law firm. I do divorce. People who ride the pub tours laugh when they find out what my "real" job is. Admittedly, I can tell some pretty wild stories. Unbelievable ones. Ones that reveal the true nature of some people that would shock and surprise you, but sometimes make you laugh. Because working in this field is sort of like working in medicine or law enforcement, a twisted sort of humor is the coping mechanism most often adopted. But most of the time, it's not really a funny job.

I deal with the broken lives of broken people. And it's hard. Eventually they get through the pain. Most of them to a better place even. But wading through that pain doesn't get easier.

I am asked often about my marital status by clients who worry my front-row seat to the end of their marriage will be a hex for any future relationships of mine. They fear I will be scarred and single for life. I calmly assure them my life is full of balance. Like riding around town with happy drunks on the Cycle Pub. I kid. I kid. (Not all drunks are happy.) But I do tell them the balance is in the examples of those around me. My parents just celebrated 35 years of marriage yesterday. (Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!) My grandparents. Even my bosses and their wives. They believe in marriage.

Have you heard the story of Fred Stobaugh and his submission to a singer/songwriter competition? If you haven't, go watch this video now. It is both touching and inspiring.

Can you believe Green Shoe Studios? How they'd go out of their way to help a fellow who can't sing a lick and knows it? Most of us won't live long enough to have a 75 year run with someone, but this story makes my heart burst with hope for the goodness in people and the relationships that do last. Has anyone in your life served as a model for healthy relationships? Tell me about them. I need all the balance I can get. 

Oh and if you want to buy "Oh Sweet Lorraine", you can do so on iTunes. 


  1. With the 35 year history of your parents marriage and the almost 60 year history of your grandparents marriage I know for sure you have two of the best examples of how this is suppose to work. Blessings on your day!

  2. My grandparents. They had some pretty dark days (an affair, a family abortion, etc) but are fast approaching their 56th year and say faith in God and faith in each other has gotten them through the hard times. It's such a good reminder to see the big picture and not the current situation.

    1. That's something we all could remember at times. To remember that whatever you're facing is temporary. You will get through it. And things will get better - eventually. Thanks for sharing a little of your grandparent's story!

  3. I have met people who call themselves divorce survivors given that divorce --- was the lowest point of their lives. One little trinket of wisdom they commonly impart is that there are support groups for soon to be single people. It is a little group that recounts survival 101 for things like emotion, well being and finance for life after divorce.